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Wednesday, 1 June 2011

How Are YOUR Computer Skills?!





Hopefully, this ought to make you feel better about your computer skills, and give you a smile at the same time.

Tech Support : "What kind of computer do you have?"
Female Customer: "A white one."

Customer :" Hi, this is Maureen.  I can't get my diskette out."
Tech Support : "Have you tried pushing the button?"
Customer : "Yes, sure, but it's really stuck."
Tech Support : "That doesn't sound good.  I'll make a note."
Customer : "No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk.... sorry...."

Tech Support : "Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen."
Customer : "Your left, or my left?"

Tech Support : "Good day.  How may I help you?"
Male customer : "Hello.  I can't print."
Tech Support : "Would you click on 'start' for me and ...."
Customer : "Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates."

Customer : "Hi. Good afternoon, this is Martha.  I can't print.  Every time I try, it says, "can't find printer".  I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it...."

Customer : "I have problems printing in red."
Tech Support : "Do you have a colour printer?"
Customer : "Aaaah ..... thank you."

Tech Support : "What's on your monitor now, ma'am?"
Customer : "A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies."

Tech Support : "Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in victor, and the number 7."
Customer : "Is that 7 in capital letters?"

Customer : "I can't get onto the internet."
Tech Support : "Are you sure you used the right password?"
Customer : "Yes, I'm sure.  I saw my colleague do it."
Tech Support : "Can you tell me what the password was?"
Customer : "Five stars."

Tech Support : "How may I help you?"
Customer : "I'm writing my first e-mail."
Tech Support : "O.k, and what seems to be the problem?"
Customer : "Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?"

Last but by no means least :

Tech  Support : "Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time.  That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.  Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Programme Manager."
Customer : "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support : "On your keyboard, Colin."
Customer : "What do you mean?"
Tech Support : 'P' .... on your keyboard, Colin."
Customer : "I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!"

39 comments:

Vintage Sunday said...

Absolutely fabulous! We so much enjoyed those ~ thank you so much for sharing them! Love Brenda

Thisisme. said...

Vintage Sunday = Hello! Lovely to see you today. Glad you enjoyed them!

orchid said...

Hello, Nice to see you!!!

I'm orchid from Japan. I hope you don't mind my following you♪♪♪
I still am in confusion how to be a friend. I started this blog in Feb.

I too enjoyed your post, thank you very much.

I have been to England once for a trip and enjoyed your lovely country.

Love, Orchid.

Sush said...

Still chuckling over those funnies. I am afraid I may have made it sometime-somewhere into some Techie Hall of Crazy People Hall of Fame.
PS I just read that every comment is like being dipped in warm chocolate and now I'm sooooo craving something in warm chocolate...gotta go rummage in the kitchen!
Thanks for another wonderful posting!
Loves~

lyndylou said...

ha ha the last one was the funniest!

Thisisme. said...

Orchid - hello! How lovely of you to visit my blog today and thank you for becoming my latest follower. I will pop over to see you in a moment! Thank you for your nice comments about my country!

Sush - yes, my son-in-law is my very own computer expert, and I'm sure he despairs of me sometimes. Hee Hee! I'm afraid I'm a bit of a sucker for chocolate!!

Thisisme. said...

lyndylou - somehow I thought you would like the last one best! LOL!!

Thisisme. said...

ORCHID - I DON'T KNOW WHETHER YOU WILL PICK THIS UP, BUT I HAVE BEEN IN TO YOUR VERY SWEET BLOG, BUT THERE IS NOWHERE THAT PEOPLE CAN LEAVE ANY COMMENT. THAT'S PROBABLY WHY YOU HAVEN'T BEEN HEARING FROM ANYONE.

orchid said...

This is Orchid,
Thank you very much for your generous message!!!
Do you mean my flowwers icons and follow button still is missing?

Oh, blogger's problem still continues to trouble us......
Well, I wish it rectifed ASAP!!!
I hope you will be kind enough to wait and see untill they DO(^^;)
At least I'm able to read your lovely post!!!

Sincerely, From Japan Orchid.

orchid said...

Yey!!!
I could SEE you now(*^_^*)
Let's have FUN togather!!!

Orchid

Shady Del Knight said...

These make me cringe, Thisisme, because I am very close to being that ignorant about computer use. I once called tech support and asked if perhaps my computer had run out of gas! (LOL) Well, it's June 1st. 10 more days! Has the reality set in yet? Have a fine day over your day, dear friend!

SkippyMom said...

giggle - these are funny :)

EvaMarie Sa said...

Oh I loved these ones, thank you for bringing a smile to me today :-)
Have a lovely day my friend.
Eva

Odie Langley said...

A lot of these I had never heard before and you really had me chuckling. Thanks for making my day.

Glenda Manus said...

Oh, I had a good chuckle over this post. Especially the last one about "p on your computer". We've all been the novice calling tech support at one time or another - and I've seen a few times that I was frustrated enough to try it, lol.

Thanks again for dropping by my posts and leaving such thoughtful comments!

Aunt Amelia's Attic said...

LOL! And this is why I'd never call professional tech support!!!

I tend to keep a *CGUG*. [a *Computer Geek Under Glass*, for necessary help] >,-)

~♥~

Kristina said...

This is HILARIOUS! Thank you for sharing this! :)

Thisisme. said...

Orchid - as you see, I was able to leave my comment when I popped back for the second time! :)

Shady - Had your computer run out of gas?! LOL! You jest, of course!! Yes, I think reality is just about setting in. I am running around the garden like a mad thing, so that there will be flowers everywhere. Hee Hee!

SkippyMom - that's what I like, to make you giggle :)

EvaMarie - so glad they gave you a smile!

Odie - glad they made you smile today my friend, and thank you so much for the update on Linda in your post today.

Glenda - glad you enjoyed the little snippets today my friend! It's always a pleasure to go over and read your lovely blog.

Aunt Amelia's Attic - Now I could really do with one of those - a CGUG!! LOL!!

Kristina - thank you. It's nice when we can make people smile.

Stella said...

Thanks for the smiles.

Desiree said...

In answer to the question you posed at the outset...thankfully not that bad!!!
Enjoyed laughing at those far less computer literate than I am :)

Thisisme. said...

Stella - how lovely to see you here today! Glad you enjoyed the post.

Desiree - Can it be you my little friend?! So, I see that you are a little computer whizz! Actually, I'm not too bad either. I can't believe that some of those situations in my post actually happened!!! Hope all those little puppies are behaving themselves over there, especially the male ones!!!

Teresa - in the Middle Side of Life said...

LOL - as a former tech support person I can attest that there are people out there like this! One caller I had wanted to know how to get the "big" letters on the screen. I tried to tell him how to increase the font size. That's not what he wanted... He wanted upper case letters. Couldn't get "shift" in his head or "caps lock" to get them all "big."

Becky said...

Those are cute!! Thanks for the laugh!! :)

Anna said...

Too funny! It does make me feel better about my computer skills or lack thereof. ;)

Thisisme. said...

Teresa - that's really interesting that there ARE people out there like that! I thought perhaps it was made up! Interesting to know that you were a former Tech Support person. I shall know who to come to now if I get any problems! Hee Hee!!

Becky - Glad it gave you a laugh today my friend.

Anna = I'm sure your computer skills are perfectly fine! Hee Hee!

becca said...

oh my these are to funny my favorite has to be the last one about "P". thanks for the giggle


Everyday Life

LV said...

I have had my times. I hope I wasn't that bad. It is hard to understand the meaning at times. Everyone does not call things the same way. I am far from being computer expert. I feel I am still a beginner at times. You certainly put funny spot in our lives today.

Chatty Crone said...

That was so funny and about what I feel like! Thanks.

Duncan D. Horne said...

can you tell me the password? 5 stars! I enjoyed that one!

Duncan In Kuantan

Thisisme. said...

Becca - yes, the last one was funny, wasn't it?!

LV - I guess we can all always learn a little bit more. As long as we can cope with our blogs!!

Chatty Crone - Glad you enjoyed them.

Duncan - yes, I agree, the password one was funny. I'm not sure that anyone could actually be that stupid!

Gawgus things... said...

That is fantastic! Sooo funny :)

kneesandpaws said...

hahahah! That is so hilarious!

Thisisme. said...

Gawgus things - glad you liked it! I presume, as you've left a comment, that Blogger is working okay again for you now.

kneesandpaws - Yes, I thought they were quite funny.

EmptyNester said...

Absolutely hilarious! Loved every single one of them!

Thisisme. said...

Empty Nester - Good-o!!

flowers on my table said...

Tee hee you are a one! I don't feel quite such a technophobe now! I am home, feeling a bit sore but happy. Many thanks for your prayers. Love Linda x

Thisisme. said...

Linda - Hi. There's nothing like being home again to aid one's recovery. I hope you will be getting plenty of rest though! (Listen to mummy!!). Just sit in the sunshine and enjoy it over the weekend. Hugs.

Susan said...

Just had to stop by and look at this one...saw it on my list a few days ago. Really great-reminds me of when "those were the days". Thank goodness we've learned some since then, huh?

Still have to go slowly past your large pink rose at the top of your page...what a beauty!

Thisisme. said...

Susan - thank you for stopping by today! They were quite good, weren't they? Glad you liked my pretty pink rose my friend.