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Saturday 29 March 2014

Saturday Smile!



Happy Saturday



 Dear Tech Support,

 Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct 
 slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the Flower and  Jewellery
 applications, both of which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.

 In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as 
 Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs 
 such as Cricket, Football, Golf and Continuous TV. Conversation only runs 
 intermittently and House Cleaning simply crashes the system. I've tried 
 running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.

 What can I do?

 Please advise me.

 Desperate
.........................................................................................................

 Dear Desperate,

 First, please bear in mind that Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, 
 while Husband is an Operating System.

 You could enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try 
 to download Tears. If this doesn't do the trick you might like to install 
 the latest Guilt update. If this works as designed, Husband should then automatically 
 run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember, over-use of the 
 above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or the  Golf Club. 

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law (which runs a virus in the 
 background that will eventually take control of all your system 
 resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported 
 applications and will crash Husband.

 In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and 
does not learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better if you only
run one task at a time. You might like to consider buying additional 
software to improve its memory and performance. We recommend Compliments, 
Good Food pandering to his ego.

Good Luck,

Tech Support


20 comments:

Montanagirl said...

Hilarity! That about says it all, and I'm still smiling.

Shady Del Knight said...

Hallo, dear Thisisme! It is I... Shadykins... your personal Trojan horse virus! (LOL) This is a funny piece and applies to most marriages. Mrs. Shady constantly complains that all my hardware has turned into software! (LOL)

Thank you for the chuckles, dear friend Thisisme. I hope you, Alfred, Emma and all your loved ones (including Sandy the retro caravan :) are doing fine and dandy and are in the midst of a wonderful weekend.

Cheers, hugs and smooches!

Suzanne said...

Hi Thisisme, I'm up and running earlier this morning.

This is too funny and some of it rings very true!

Happy Saturday-loved Ruby's toe etiquette! See you later! ♥

rainbow said...

So true SO TRUE - WE HAVE TO REALLY TAKE CARE IF THAT HUSBAND APP IF HE IS GOING TO STICK AROUND LIKE HE SHOULD!

Thanks for the LAUGH.

Make it a Fantastic Weekend and DOUBLE BLESSED SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!

LindyLouMac said...

Where an earth did you find this Diane, it is hilarious!

Southhamsdarling said...

Glad it made you smile Francine ;)

Southhamsdarling said...

HaHa! Your comment certainly made me smile dear Tom. Trojan Horse virus indeed! Poor Mrs Shady! That comment was very clever. See you again soon. Toodlepip old bean!! Smooches.

Southhamsdarling said...

You were an early bird today , my loyal Texan friend ! I'm sure we can all relate to some of this post. Yes, wasn't Ruby cute!! Take care and see you again soon.

Southhamsdarling said...

Hi Lyn. Glad you enjoyed the post today. A bit if fun, I thought! Yes, we will have to keep our hubbies on their toes '

Southhamsdarling said...

Hi Linda. I found this one on Twitter. It is very funny and very good, don't you think?!

orchid0324 said...

Dearest Diane;
Wow; I cannot agree more with this advice(^_^)v "Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System." Oh, what an excellent phrase!!! I remember that one of the monks said during his preach; a husband didn't know what to do after he lost his wife, as he was obeying her commands p;)

Thank you very muh for the morning chuckle(*^_^*)
PS> wonderful header with full of LOVE♡♡♡ I wish I had family to boast like you, my dear friend.

Sending you Lots of Love and Hugs from Japan, xoxo Miyako*

Southhamsdarling said...

My dear Miyako. Thank you for popping over, all the way from Japan. Loved what the Monk said about losing his wife. That did make me smile. Thank you , as always, for your
Kind comment. Hugs xx

Unknown said...

Hi Diane.

That was hilarious to read :)
I really love your header photo.
Hope you're having a great weekend and that the weather has been nice to you over there.
Hugs

Unknown said...

Too funny Diane! I also love your header photo...what a gem!

Belle said...

It's funny how boyfriend's can't get enough of you till you get married! Talking is then very painful for them. I think most women have this problem. What to do? Nothing I have tried has worked so I have no idea. I think men just think differently than women and also, we marry opposites.

I did find this very funny! God bless you and your family. I love, love the picture at the top.

Southhamsdarling said...

Hi Belle. What to do indeed! It's amazing how the men can change and just take us for granted. After all these years, I can't be bothered to worry about it any more !!

Southhamsdarling said...

Hi Eva. I hope this doesn't happen to you my friend. You will be leaving very soon to meet your special little man. I'm so happy for you x

Southhamsdarling said...

Thanks Jenny. I'm sure you don't have that problem with Richard!!! Hugs.

Manzanita said...

How true this is/was. All the phases we go through. This was a smiley one and good to remember. Haha

BECKY said...

So, so funny!! Loved it!