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Wednesday, 27 June 2012

Some Good Tips for Us Seniors today!!

I thought I would put my recuperation period to good use, so I've come up with some Lovemaking tips for all of us bloggies of a certain age! I have tried several of them myself, so I know they work!! Eeeek!!

Wear your glasses, to make sure that your partner is actually in the bed.

Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

Set the mood with lighting - turn them all OFF!

Make sure you put 999 on your speed dial before you begin.

Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

Use extra Polygrip, so that your teeth don't end up under the bed.

Make all the noise you want ..... the neighbours are deaf too.

If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!

Don't even think about trying it twice ......

OLD is when your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love", and you answer, "Pick one. I can't do both."

OLD is when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes, and you're actually barefoot.

OLD is when going 'bra-less' pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

OLD is when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

Well my dear friends, I hope that some of these brought a smile to your face today.

HUGS!




18 comments:

Cindy Ellison said...

These are sooo funny! So happy you are feeling much better! I loved the cartoon at the end about "old age creeping up on you".
Thank you for making us smile AND laugh! :-D

Shelly said...

I literally laughed until tears came to my eyes! So funny! And a merry heart does good like a medicine, and I hope your merry heart is speeding your recuperation, my friend!

Shady Del Knight said...

Hallo, dear Thisisme! These "old" jokes gave me a good laugh, but inside I am also smiling because I'm so glad to see you back on your blog and apparently in good health and spirits.

These zingers about seniors have more than a grain of truth to them, don't they? They remind me of my own disastrous bedroom experience. Determined to please my lady, I bought a how-to book offering step by step love making instructions. I tried to follow directions to the letter but failed miserably while still on page one. The book directed me to turn out the lights but in so doing I could no longer see the page to learn what to do next. Game over!

Stay well and happy and have a wonderful evening, dear friend Thisisme!

EM Illustrator said...

They're all brilliant Diane :) thank you for the giggles. And thank you so much for buying yet another print of my art. Glad to see you back here in blogland :-)
Have a lovely evening my friend!

Big hugs,
Eva

Olive Cooper said...

Fabulous Diane and welcome back. I just read your last post and it was funny to read about the wards but not so funny for you. When I was a young nurse we had wards but now every hospital here has gone to private or semi-private rooms which does help with getting rest.

Odie Langley said...

Diane you deserve an award for that one as it still has me chuckling. You are coming back with all the style you have shown us in the past. Have a great evening and sweet dreams tonight.
Hugs,
Odie

becca said...

OMg I love this especially the part about writing name on hand too funny must share with friends.

Claudia Moser said...

I read them to Peter so he can laugh as much as I did. And he did ask a question - if it's dark ow can you read the name written on the hand? Smart isn't he? :)))

Gawgus things... said...

Ha, ha! I like Peter's comment! I expect posts every day during your recuperation - you won't have time again in a couple of weeks!

Katherines Corner said...

giggle, this was terrific xo

Sush said...

Having just spent the entire day taking care of Lily and Kate, I enjoyed hearing those tips! Definitely was laughing as I read!
Glad your back to posting...just keep 'taking it easy greasy so you can slide on by'!

Hugs~

orchid said...

Dearest Diane,
What a lovely morning smile you gave me♡♡♡ Oh, I hope that I won't have to write down my husband's name, haha.
Yes, your sense of humor came back, and I amire your illustration as well♬♬♬ 

I hope you are able to having good recuperating time and get better perfectly!!!

Sending you Love, xoxo Miyako*

Alessandra said...

This was hilarious, especially the one about the neighbors being deaf. So glad you're back, we missed your humor, I need a lot more of it :)

Chatty Crone said...

Recuperating from what - I am sorry I have missed this. sandie

Craziness abounds said...

hahaha I've missed you soooo much!

Grammy Goodwill said...

Oh, my my my. You must be feeling better to have so many tips for us today. hehehe My favorite is writing your love's name on your hand. There's a story behind that as my dear hubby often called me by his ex-wife's name in our early married days. (And he wasn't a senior yet either!)

Pam Lofton said...

You are such a hoot! I'm so glad that you're feeling better! It's fantastic to see you here! Sorry you had to cancel the trip with your granddaughter but October will be here before you know it! Take my wonderful friend! We've all missed you!

Susan said...

So, you're back among the living! A good indication that you haven't lost your sense of humor! This was too funny for sure! I will definitely remember all of these tips...glasses and all!

The cartoon at the end is hilarious! And I like your header picture. You've really been creative-thank you for the laughs, and have a hilariously wonderful weekend!♥