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Monday 5 September 2011

Womanhood , and Memories Of A Dear Friend.

Today is a day of memories and reflections for me, as it was on this day two years ago that my best friend, Doreen, passed away, after a very short illness.  It seemed that one minute she was with us, and then she was gone.  We always went walking together, or shopping, or simply to a coffee shop for a cappuccino and a toasted teacake.  We also used to take holidays together.  Only a few months before she passed away we had been in Dubrovnik together and had such a lovely time, and she was, well, on top form and looked so well.  It just goes to show that no=one knows what is around the corner, and we really should try to make the most of each and every day that we are given.

Happy Memories Doreen - Will Always Be Remembered.
"Do not save your loving speeches
For your friends till they are dead;
Do not write them on their tombstones,
Speak them rather now instead.
- Anna Cummins


Bethe77 said...

Wise words Thisisme Im glad you ahve your wonderful memories of your friend. It is never easy even after the years are gone. We still miss them and long to go one more place with them. HUgs and blessings my dear friend

Belle said...

I am sorry you lost your beloved friend Doreen. I also find the love of the women in my life very important. May God give you comfort and peace this day.

Sandy said...

I'm so sorry about your friend Doreen, anniversaries of loved ones leaving our lives is a tough pill to swallow. I think how fortunate you were to have her help shape the fabric of your life. It's a wake up call to appreciate the people in our lives because life can be so damn fragile. Sending warm thoughts your way Thisisme...

orchid0324 said...

Oh, my Dear Lady!!!
If someone close to you died without mental preparedness, it strikes us really hard. When my mother died, I had been sitting with her almost a year.
However, there are 2 deaths for me, which are kind of traumatic for me. One is kind of same as yours. When I was early 20's, my closest friend died from car accident. And my bro (I commented about him in our friend Sush's Aug. 29th post).
Yes, let's have happy memories!!!
After this Oct. I'll stop crying ^^;).
Lots of love and Hugs xoxo, Orchid

Shelly said...

What a loving tribute. I know you honor her with such wise advice and warm words. My friends are like gold to me, and I treasure them all the more after reading this.

Carol said...

When someone close goes very quickly from our lives it can be such a traumatic time.

You are quite right, we don't know what is around the corner.

Thinking of you.


SkippyMom said...

Any one that you love, I know that I would love too - she looks as tho' she was a lovely friend and I can hear the pain in your words.

I hope that you rest easy in the knowledge that she is here in your memories and I just betcha' she is looking down and telling you "Pish. Stop it." She loved you as much as you loved her and it is a bond you will always keep.

I don't know if what I said helps, but I do understand. Hugs my friend.

Southhamsdarling said...

Bethe77 - Yes, I do have lovely memories of all the times we spent together over the years.

Belle - thank you so much my friend. Yes, I don't know where we would be without the women in our lives.

Sandy - lovely to see you here today, and I do appreciate your comment, because I know that you lost your dear friend Jen, so you have been through this.

Orchid - hallo my sweet friend. I've missed you! I know that you still suffer very much from the loss of your dear brother last October. It is still very early days and the pain is bound to still be quite raw. Take care and sending you hugs. That must have been terrible when your best friend was killed when you were in your early 20's. What a tragic accident.

Shelly - I think the gift of our female friends is such a blessing, and I do believe that we should tell them just what they mean to us - before it may be too late to do so.

Dizzy - Thank you so much. it's probably just as well we don't know what's around the corner.

Southhamsdarling said...

Skippy - hallo dear friend. Yes, she was a lovely and loyal friend, and was always there for me and always knew just the right thing to say at any particular time. Your comment about her looking down and saying "Pish. Stop it" did make me smile. I know she is aware of how much I miss her.

Claudia Moser said...

I fully understand your feeling, especially now when I am confronted with so much pain! I am so sorry for your loss, sending many hugs to you!

Shady Del Knight said...

Thisisme, I am very sorry to know that there is pain in your heart today or any day. (More sadness is coming for much of the world in the days ahead as we mark the grim 10th anniversary of the September 11th attacks.) Doreen certainly did look fit as a fiddle in that picture and you're right, life holds no guarantee of tomorrow. Again, I am very sorry for your loss.

I never had close male friends. I have always felt more comfortable relating to women. That might explain why I treasure my relationships with you and your daughter, Belle and other women who have become my friends through blogging. God bless!

Southhamsdarling said...

Claudia - thank you so much for your warm wishes, and I do wish Peter a speedy recovery from his illness. Please let us know when he is home with you again.

Shady - Hallo Tom, my dear friend. Thank you for your words of comfort today. They really do mean a lot to me, and I am glad that you look on us all as friends, for that is what we all are now to each other. Yes, we are seeing lots of programmes on the television here in England, to make the 10th Anniversary of the September 11th devastating attack on your country. I'm sure we all can remember it so clearly. I was watching the Towers disappear, and it truly was like watching a horror movie.

Becky said...

What a sweet post about your beautiful friend. I am sure that you miss her tremendously.

Linda O'Connell said...

Beautiful friend, beautiful tribute, beautiful quote. I know you miss her.

Southhamsdarling said...

Becky - thank you my friend. Yes, I miss her very much. It's a bit frightening when they go so quickly, although I suppose it was best for my friend because she didn't suffer for too long. Hugs to you.

Linda - Thank you and thank you so much for popping over and leaving a comment.

Desiree said...

Such beautiful sentiments and altogether a very thoughtful post, Diane. How sad that Doreen's life came to such a sudden end. She looked so lovely in this photograph! A timely reminder for us all to appreciate every moment of our life's journey as none of us knows when we'll reach our own destination. Big hug, DES xoxo

BECKY said...

Oh, I'm so sorry you lost your dear friend. I can't imagine how sad that would be. I don't know what is "worse"...a sudden death, or one that you know ahead of time is inevitable.
I love the poem about women. It is SO true and I'm so happy we met in blogland and are friends!

Gawgus things... said...

I love that quote at the end. So very true and so very sad how people get taken away from us without warning.

Southhamsdarling said...

Desiree - I loved your comment that none of us know when we will reach our own destination. That's a nice way of putting it. Yes, Doreen looks so healthy in that photo, doesn't she, and yet she was gone in a matter of months when we returned from our holiday.

Becky - thank you my friend. I'm glad you liked the poem today. Our women friends are such a blessing in our lives and, like you, I have made some lovely new ones through this blogging adventure of ours. Hugs.

Southhamsdarling said...

Gawgus things - yes, I liked that quote as well, and I think its something that we should all take heed of, and let our friends know just how much they mean to us.

Unknown said...

Too many times we think we have tomorrow but sometimes that day does not come. Your words are so appropriate and a good lesson for all of us. Have a great week my friend.

Teresa said...

I'm so sorry that you lost your dear friend. What deep words on the poem and the thought at the end. They're so very true. We all need our "sister" whether they be blood related or a gift in another form.

So true that we never know when we've missed the opportunity to tell someone we love them and then find that it's too late.

As I get older I try to keep that in perspective and tell everyone how much they mean to me. With that being said, I want to tell YOU how much I value you and or friendship.

Raindrops and Daisies said...

What a lovely post about your dear departed friend.

I am sure that you miss her very much but am sure she is with you in spirit.

It is so true that none of us know what we could be expecting or when.

Life can be cruel.

Take care of yourself and remember your wonderful friendship with happiness.


Empty Nester said...

Lovely tribute! I can't even imagine losing my BFF- I rely on her daily!

BB said...

Great post This. She sounded awesome like you. And so because I so agree with the bottom quote here goes: "If I die today or tomorrow, you are an awesome friend Diane!!" There!!!

Manzanita said...

Such a nice tribute to your friend. My best friend has been visiting and just recently left for home. We've had only joy in our hearts for each other for the past 51 years. Be joyful for the years you, too, have had with your friend.

Southhamsdarling said...

Hi Odie - really lovely to see you here today my friend. I think when you lose someone, and it comes rather suddenly, it really does act as a wake up call. Hope your studying is going well for you.

Teresa - I'm like you (and remember here, that you're just a spring chicken compared to moi! Hee Hee!)and, as I've got older, I do tend to tell people how much they mean to me and how much I value their friendship). What you said at the end of your comment, about valuing OUR friendship, gave me a lump in my throat. Thank you SO much for saying that! I do so appreciate that you feel like that, and I feel the same way. So many good friends have been gained since I've been blogging, and I really do consider them to be 'real' friends.

Raindrops and Daisies - such a lovely comment from you today, Fiona. Thank you so much. Yes, I do, indeed, have very happy memories of the friendship that we shared.

EmptyNester - thank you! Yes, it's a sad day when we lose one of our friends. I have actually lose three over the past five years, but Doreen was my best friend, and we used to spend a lot of time together. Cherish your BFF whilst you can!

Bouncin'Barb - I'm glad you enjoyed the post today my awesome friend! You'll notice that I don't say that to anyone else!! Hee Hee!!
Don't you go dying on me for at least another 30 years!!! Hugs.

Manzanita - lovely to see you here today! I remember that your best friend was coming to stay. You've certainly had a LOT of years of happy friendship with her. A blessing indeed and, yes, I do count my blessings to have had my friend in my life and I remember the happy times we had.

Grammy Goodwill said...

This is such a lovely posting about your friend. It must have been such a shock to lose her so quickly and too soon. I moved away from my best friend 6 years ago, and I still miss her so much. I can't imagine how much more you must miss Doreen.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry about the loss of your dear friend.
Wise and thoughtful words today, but they mean so much. Have a lovely evening - warm wishes
Eva xx

Southhamsdarling said...

Grammy Goodwill - Thank you, and I'm glad you enjoyed the post today. Yes, it's bad enough when our friends move away from us, but when they're gone for ever, it's very difficult to deal with.

EvaMarie - Thank you my friend. I really do appreciate how you always pop over to leave a comment! Hugs.

Donna B. said...

Oh Diane...what a beautiful tribute to your friend and to the women in our lives. Last month was the year anniversary of Penny, a blogging friend I met from New South Wales. She died the end of August from complications from a car accident. She had to drive off a road to avoid a head on collision and struck a tree. Her head injuries put her in a coma. She was a wonderful poet, photographer, wife and Mother of three teenagers. I miss her too.

Unknown said...

Lovely post! The poem about women in our lives is precious. I was with my good friend, August last year, as she passed away from breast cancer. We cherish our memories and try to be there for those left behind. sniff, snuffle, smile.

Southhamsdarling said...

Donna - I'm so sorry to hear about your poor friend, who died in that very tragic accident. What a dreadful time for her family and all those who knew her. Just terrible. Sending you hugs today my friend.

Steadfast Ahoy - Hi there Rosemary. I'm glad you liked the poem, but I was really sorry to hear about your poor friend who passed away last year. It's not easy, is it, when you lose a good friend. Take care.

colenic said...

What a lovely tribute to a good friend.
Hugs to you on this day and congrats to you gor concentrating on the wonderful memories. Hugs and love to you today!!

Rebecca said...

love the poem at the beginning and what a beautiful post to your friend. I'm sure she is smiling down on you...hugs

Southhamsdarling said...

Colenic _ thank you so much for the love and hugs today my friend. Lovely to see you here today.

Becca - I'm glad you liked the poem my friend. It was rather special I thought. Yes, I'm sure she is looking down and feeling all the love today. Hugs.

Lyndylou said...

Lovely tribute to your best friend. I don't know what I would do without my best friends X

Southhamsdarling said...

lyndylou - thank you my friend. Like you, my female friends are very important in my life.

Pearson Report said...

Dear Thisisme,

What a lovely, compassionate, heartfelt post.
The is truly touching. I was much moved by it and would like to ask if I might take a copy - would you mind?

I lost a dear client whom I had known eighteen years - it was sudden and I was left quite shattered by her absence in my work world - I saw her every Thursday for eighteen years.
Even now, I have a hard time with it - strange how people touch our lives and leave a permanent mark upon our hearts.

I feel for your loss and for the memories that are tugged upon when the mind choses to visit these corners where we keep our hidden treasures...and indeed these friendships are just that - treasures.

Thank you for sharing this special treasure.

Southhamsdarling said...

Pearson Report - Hi Jenny. Thank you so much for your lovely comment today, and, of course, you may use that poem, The Journey. I thought it was really lovely. I'm so sorry that you lost your client very suddenly. It really hits home, doesn't it? Hugs to you my friend.

Pearson Report said...

Thank you for giving me the green light on the poem, and for making the extra trip over to mermaid land to leave me a comment are one special lady!

I'm glad I found my way to your part of the most certainly are a delight to read and follow!

Hugs, Jenny