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Thursday, 10 October 2013

Sad When Little Children Can Be Cruel ....

It's always been known that children can be cruel, but every instance that I come across, still affects me.  It did with my girls when they were young, and it does now with my grandchildren!

I can still remember when Eli was three and I took him to the local park.  He went up the steps of the small slide, and three little girls were there.  They said to him, in quite a nasty way, "you're not going down the slide."  I tried to keep my voice friendly, when I asked them to please let the little boy go down the slide!

It's strange, but, in my experience, it is usually little girls that cause the problem, and not little boys.  Ruby told me last week that a little girl at pre-school was being nasty to her, and saying horrible things.  Then a couple of days ago, just before she was going to bed, Ruby asked her mummy and daddy if her legs were fat.  Apparently, this same little girl had told her that she had fat legs!  I ask you, they are only three years old.

Last Saturday, Ruby was due to go to her very first little birthday party, and my daughter said that she was SO excited.  Obviously, she has seen Eli go off to lots of birthday parties.  Now it was her turn!  She was so thrilled with her little party dress.

Anyway, when she was at the party, this same horrible little brat little girl pushed Ruby over three times.  My daughter said that her mum was there and didn't say a word.  I ask you!  I asked Alison if she had cried, and she said "no, but her little lip trembled!"

We all know that children have to get used to this, but it does seem very young, at three years old,  to have to learn this sort of lesson.  My daughter said that she never had this problem with Eli, so perhaps it does only happens with little girls!!

We always tell them to be kind to everyone, but it's very difficult when certain little ones can be downright nasty.

Bye for now my friends.


Claudia Moser said...

I don't understand why so mean! Sad ...

doodles n daydreams said...

Your little Ruby looks so beautiful in her party dress, perhaps the other little brat, sorry, little girl, is jealous?


Grammy Goodwill said...

This brought tears to my eyes when I read it. As a retired school teacher, I can assure you that girls are worse at this kind of behavior than boys. I would take a class of 20 boys any day.
I am so sorry Ruby has to deal with this little girl. And I'm sorry for the little girl that at such a young age already has such a mean outlook on life. (I wonder about the mother since your daughter said she didn't intervene.)
Ruby looks like a sweet princess, all dressed up for the party.

Shelly said...

Bullying was always what set me off in the classroom, and this just makes my heart hurt. Yes, I do think for some reason that little girls are cattier and meaner than little boys. This little girl's mother is clueless because the little girl had to learn it from somewhere, and it's probably the mother. Please tell little Ruby that this American reader and so many of your blogging friends think she is prettier than a princess and she is perfect just the way she is. I hope they can limit Ruby's exposure to this child. Do the teachers know? I will get off my soapbox now, but I hate bullying with every fiber of my being.

Montanagirl said...

She's such a little doll in her party dress. And yes, children can be mean and nasty. Not sure what triggers all that. Sad, but true.

NITA said...

Children certainly can be cruel. Hope you are well. God Bless - Nita

Shady Del Knight said...

Hallo, dear Thisisme! I'm sorry to be late today and even sorrier to read this post. It disturbs me no end to think that sweet little Ruby Violet is being picked on by a budding mean girl. Obviously the girl doing the bullying has deeply rooted problems and her parents are doing little or nothing to correct them.

I think girls today are under greater pressure than ever before. There is too much emphasis on physical perfection even at a very early age. Girls who feel inadequate are likely to choose an easy target and bully them. If it continues Alison should take her concerns directly to the girl's parents.

At the age of five I was surrounded and attacked by a group of older boys who beat me with rubber hoses. My only infraction was being the new kid on the block. The emotional pain they inflicted on me can still be felt nearly 60 years after the welts healed. I pray that Ruby's situation can be resolved peacefully and quickly.

God bless!

Sush said...

Oh noooo, just makes me want to take the offender off to the side and give her what we used to call a 'big talking to'. But sadly it does happen all to often. I remember when something similar happened to Lily the first time she was so crushed. All you can do is explain to them when people act cruelly it isn't really about them but what is wrong in the offender's life. On another note as the mother of four boys I can say boys can be just as mean and they as in the case of Tom can get physical. So sad and sweet Miss Ruby Violet looks as beautiful as ever in her party dress. Let her know how much she is admired and loved for her kind heart and beautiful insides and outsides all the way across 'The Pond'! Big hugs from one Gramma to another. Proud of you for restraining yourself from hunting down the offender... ;)

Ann Nichols said...

Oh...that is so sad. yes, kids can be so cruel. Many parents have to get a better handle on their child, such as the mother of the little girl that did nothing... she is teaching her child very bad ways!
But your granddaughter is loved and thank God for that! She has people to give her love when those in the world can be so cruel. And what a beautiful child too!
many blessings to you and your family,
Ann said...

I gather the mother or mothers of these bulling girls the daughters are hearing about images now . All about fat people. Or over weight. So what children hear at home reflects on there children and they become bullys. I mean take a look at that program . boo, boo . I dont watch it but I know alot of young Mothers do and also that program with ladies men trying to lose weight.

These Mom could be watching this program. How sick is that. The girls hear it all the time. Even on a phone call hearing moms say. Oh did you see Monica how big and fat her legs are.

Your wee Grandaughter is beautiful.Who thinks of fat . You think of dollies, ribbons. Not images. Sick.

If I was your daughter I would make sure they heard a mouthful from me.

If they are teasing her at school at this age.

I would go to the teacher or principal. I would make my self heard. I mean how many more girls are being hrt by these bully girsl in the class room.

It must be stopped.

I might ask. Why is this the young age of your Granddaughter to school so young.

I was asked back then if I wanted to put my children in at four.

I reclined. Let children be children. My hubby came from 9 and his Mom always said let them be children. School is forever it seems.

And my children are all smart. So is my husbands siblings. They went late in school. Age five. Is this manatory to go to school so young? Is this nursery school? While Moms go to work?

Jennifer Hoppins said...

Look at that darling sweetheart! With her little shoulders all shrugged, as if she were a little shy about the pretty fancy dress and the anticipation of the party.

This is how it begins for many children, and we learn how to manage and move on, but sometimes the hurt remains. I know Ruby is strong and kind, and will have many many good friends who love her. How could she not with the family she has to support and love her. My prayer is for Ruby Violet today. May she walk tall, always know goodness, and never be afraid to refuse ill treatment. Maybe she will become someone who is able to stand up for herself, and for another child in need.

Bouncin Barb said...

We do say "kids can be so mean" but we all know where that stems from. The parents! How would a 3 year old know what fat legs were? It is sad. I do recall when Michael was little, his problems were with girls usually. And Kali had some pretty mean kids in preschool that made her cry. I hope this passes quickly.

Little Ruby looks so much like Eli in that first picture! She's just beautiful!

Suzanne Prickett said...

Hi Thisisme. You know, I think you're right about little girls being the worst bullies. Boys just slug you, they don't mess around so much pushing, shoving and poking fun. I had some bully experiences. And, actually a boy was one of the worst. He would pull my hair on the way home from school. He would pull my ponytail totally out and the rubberband would break! then I would get headaches!

One day he followed me too far while he was picking on me, and I was crying. My sister came out of the house, and she ran him down!!! She chased him over the fence, raked her nails down his back and ripped his shirt right off him! I can't help but laugh about it now. He ran home crying and his mother called my mother to tattle on my sister for being a bully-haha!. Mom told her he had probably done something to us to get the whipping he got. And, he never bothered me again. I've seen him on facebook, but we're not friends there. He probably doesn't even remember that. I had headaches for a year, and was only 9 or 10 years old.

Anyway, what a wonderful post. Ruby is such a beauty-I truly love her party dress! She is so pretty! I imagine there is some jealousy among the other little girls. I hope Ruby can laugh and look the other way!

See you soon...have a great weekend!♥

orchid Miyako said...

Dearest Diane,
OMG, poor Rubby!!! She is shining with the dress and the cutest girl I know(^_^)v This story kind of choked me with little tears remembering what I've experienced when little. Yes, I think we need to learn how to confront for these girls. I was SO small due to pituitary gland disorder and a couple of girls were the regular ones to bully me. I couldn't tell my mother about it because I didn't want to make her sad. Haha, my painful experience.

The mother of jealous young girl should know better than that, whew!!!

Sending you and Rubby lots of love and hugs from Japan, xoxo Miyako*

Anne in Oxfordshire said...

Hello Diane , how sad .. Yes in my experience too , it is girls that are like this , WHY ? I have no idea.

We (my daughter in laws) took the children up to my local park the other week , my grandson wanted to go on the swings , , I said just wait for a few minutes and then they will be finished (girls) well as one got off and walked away I told Thomas to go on it which he did , but the little girl came straight back and told him to get off ,, which he did ,, I said No Thomas you get back on , the girl had left and then I turned to her and said , you had got off it and you must learn to share.,

Ruby looks adorable ,, and I wish parents would say something if they are around when it happens ,, xx

Retired English Teacher said...

This just breaks my heart. That adorable little Ruby being treated badly is just something I can't take in. Yes, I do think that girls are meaner to each other than boys. That was my experience when I was raising my children.

Linda O'Connell said...

When my granddaughter was Ruby's age, I role played with her in order to prepare her for many different situations that could arise.

I acted like the bad guy/girl and gave her the words to handle situations. If a girl says,... You respond...

Girls are more verbal, therefore can use words as weapons, but boys are more physical. I have had one actual mean girl in all the years I've taught, and truthfully, once I met her mama, I understood why. We knew she would grow up to be a bully. I may have stopped her in her tracks. Hubby-Santa called our class and asked if everyone was good little boy/girl. Of course everyone shouted yes. Then he said, "Well Santa knows there is someone in class who has been unkind to others." The entire class shouted her name and she cried. Stopped that bullying!
Sometimes when kids say, "Your leg or tummy is fat," it is because they are merely making an observation, not trying to be mean, but in this case, I do believe she was being deliberate.
Try role playing with your precious baby girl. She looks so cute in her party dress.