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Tuesday, 29 November 2011

A Reflective Post Today.

I wasn't really going to write a post today, but I am sat here a little bit tearful, because I have just read a post from They All Call Me Mom.  Katrina has lost someone she loves over the holiday period.  Now it is always dreadful to lose that special person at any time but, somehow, when it happens during what should be a joyful time, it always seems that little bit worse.

Katrina is very sad because their grandma won't now see her children growing up, and the post is full of little regrets of things that she wished she had done.  The grandma was 65 and, as I will be 65 on my next birthday, I suppose it has hit home a bit with me, especially thinking of my daughters and grandchilddren.

Please go over and read the post, as it will remind us all to just take a moment to pick up the telephone, or send a letter, or send an e-mail, or, more importantly, pay a visit, and always let our family and friends know just how much they mean to us, how much we appreciate them, and how much we love them. 

 Why?  Because you just never know ............

I'm feeling very sentimental now, so  I'm sending hugs to you - all my little bloggy friends - to let you know how much you all mean to me.


Eva Ason said...

A nice little post today - sad - but yet it say so much! Life is so short - and I totally agree to TELL your loved ones that you love them! You mean a lot to me also Diane :) I always love coming here to read your warm posts! Have a lovely Day my friend! Hugs x

Shelly said...

None of us is guaranteed tomorrow, so your words are very wise indeed. I will head over and read her post. I do hope your day is filled with the good stuff of family, friends, and fellowship, my friend!

Shady Del Knight said...

I lost my father on Christmas day and, strangely enough, he also lost his father on Christmas day. Ten years ago, on December 25th, 2001, I called my dad in Pennsylvania to wish him a merry Christmas. From the moment he answered the telephone I knew something was terribly wrong. I could hear the distress in his voice. He rushed me off the phone, telling me he had to get to a doctor appointment. A doctor appointment on Christmas day? He died a few hours later at the hospital, having gone there under his own power. That tense, hurried, aborted final conversation with my father runs through my mind every year as Christmas approaches. However, I can't let it spoil my mood and put a damper on the holidays for the children in my life. He wouldn't want that. His father wouldn't want that.

I read about your friend's loss. It's so true that we are often filled with regret that we didn't say more or do more or keep more scraps and bits of a person's life. We must not punish ourselves because we are not perfect beings. Circumstances are often beyond our control. Someone once described death as life's ultimate inconvenience. That's how it is for everybody. We just do our best.

I learned a long time ago to "get real" with people - right here, right now. You know me well enough by now to understand that. I don't hold back. I express what's in my heart because I might not have the chance to do it tomorrow. I cherish your friendship, Thisisme. You and several other people have enriched my life during the past year and I love all of you.

Linda O'Connell said...

Hugs to you too. I recognize your feeling.
EACH of us has only today and we should all try to make the most of it. I feel sad sometimes when I look at my youngest granddaughter. I had such a connection with the oldest, now 22, and I pray that I live long enough to see this one grow up to be happy and healthy.
Focus on something that makes you smile. Take a trip over to my blog.

Gawgus things... said...

Oh goodness, here I am all tearful now as well. Not having just read Katrina's post, but also dear Shady's. Whilst, thankfully, I haven't lost anyone lately, I have had 3 friends who have recently suffered with breast cancer and for two of them it was very advanced. Thank goodness, they all seem to have come out the other side but you really don't know what's round the corner and should live each day to the full.

Odie Langley said...

I haven't been over to her site yet but it is already emotional after reading the comments. Like Shady I was thinking about my mom who passed on my oldest daughter's birthday. I had regrets about not having more to remember my day by who died in 1974 and then my mom in 2002. Like Shady said, we are not perfect but need to do all we can when we can and be glad we did what we could. Like Diane I will be 65 my next birthday so this is timely for me as well. There are a number of you in blog land that are closer to me than some of my family are and you mean so very much to me. I'll try to say it more often.

Duncan D. Horne - the Kuantan blogger said...

Hi Diane, a very nice post today.

Death is but a step forward,
This earthly sojourn is gone in a glance,
For friends shall be one again,
And none of it by chance!

Kinda made that up on the spot. But yeah, we need to start loving those around us much more as death doesn't wait for anybody.

Chatty Crone said...

Thank you Diane - you mean a lot to me too - as well as the wonderful blog world out there.

So many times I think of something I don't know or don't remember and there is no one to ask anymore. So you are absolutely correct.

This post sure does make you think.



Pearson Report said...

Thisisme, I am moved and touched by your post. Losing a loved one is inevitable, but when it happens at a certain time of year, or prematurely, it can be devastating.

My daughter has been so lucky to have my mom, who's now 79, around for this long. We often reflect on the great outdoor adventures the two of them have had.

I guess all any of us can do is live today fully, show those around us we love them so that when the inevitable happens our regrets are minimal.

Heartfelt post, very moving.

Hugs, Jenny


dubgirl said...

Hugs to you x

Denise said...

So nice to wake up with a greeting from you,My little English friend from all the way across the sea.I love your new header,so full of joy.I will get my strength up to visit your sweet blogger friend.One more cup of coffee and a piece of toast should do the trick.Have a lovely week-Denise

LindyLouMac in Italy said...

I dear now you have made me feel all sentimental as well. You are so right that it is so much harder somehow at this time of the year. I personally have not been able to work up much enthusiasm for Christmas yet, as it will be the first one without my Mum, although very much looking forward to seeing our daughters. Take Care xx

Jumble Mash said...

Hugs back to you! So sad to hear about your friend.

Thisisme. said...

Eva Ason - it is quite sad, but you always cheer me with your comments my friend, so thank you for that, and I know just how much you miss your dear dad. Hugs and I hope you are feeling a little better.

Shelly - You're right of course - none of us is guaranteed tomorrow, so we must make the most of each day. Thank you, I have been with my youngest daughter and two little grandchildren all day :)

Shady - oh dear Tom, to lose your father on Christmas Day must have been awful for you, and incredible to think that your granddad also died on Christmas Day. I can certainly imagine how you feel as each Christmas Day approaches, but, as you say, we cannot let it affect the younger ones in our family, especially the children. I am in total agreement with you dear friend , and I too always express what is in my heart. I think we all cherish each others friendship here in blogland, and it is so good that we have each other. Your comment was very moving today - take care, and sending you hugs.

Linda - yes, we must all focus on something that makes us happy, and I will certainly be heading over to your blog after we have had our evening meal. Like you, I have a lovely connection with my 14 year old granddaughter and I think we would all like to see our grandchildren grow up. Hugs.

Gawgus things - oh dear, I'm sorry. I think I've made everyone feel a little bit sentimental today. I know about your friends and it really does bring it home to you just how fragile our life is. Take care dear daughter and know how much I love you x

Thisisme. said...

Odie - Hallo dear friend. That must have been hard when your mum passed away on your daughter's birthday. You're so right, that we must do all we can when we can, and that is all we can do. No=one is perfect, but it must be awful to have to live with regrets when someone we love passes away. You and I are the same age, and it does bring it home to you a bit. Thank you for your lovely comment about how much we mean to you also. Take care.

Duncan - hallo! I've missed you! If you just made that little poem up on the spur of the moment, it was very good, and very appropriate! Thank you for coming over to leave your comment. Hope those two lovely little girls are doing well.

Chatty - Sandie, it does make you think, doesn't it? We must all keep coming over to your blog, where you always provide fun and make us smile!!

Pearson Report - thank you Jenny. I just thought that Kristina's post was so sad, and I was sorry to see that she had so many regrets. Your daughter is lucky, and I pray that I will be here to see my little ones growing up too. Take care my friend and sending you hugs.

dubgirl - thank you so much!

Denise - How nice to see you here today. Thank you for your lovely comment about my new header. Glad you like it! The rest of your comment did make me smile. Hope you felt ready to up and go after your coffee and toast!

LindyLouMac in Italy - I feel for you, as it is the first Christmas without your mum . It's hard all those firsts that we have to go through. I'm so happy that you will be seeing your daughters. Take care.

Jumble Mash - how lovely to see you here today. Thank you so much for coming across to leave a comment. I do appreciate it.

Desiree said...

This is ever so touching, Diane! And, yet, just look at all the love pouring out on this page! That has to be rather miraculous, considering we were all strangers living in distant lands until we signed up to Blogger and opened a whole new world we'd not known existed. We all have our real life families and friends and our every day concerns and responsibilities, but in a strangely parallel existence, we have the family we've made in Blog Land. And, they are really just as real, because they offer us so much of themselves through their loving kindness and unconditional support. I, too, felt all teary-eyed and emotional, but knowing of the genuine warmth travelling around through our respective blogging interactions, I feel very lucky. And, yes, now we all need to tell those we love how much they mean to us. EXTRA BIG hug, Des xoxo

Katrina said...

I'm touched that you mention my post on your blog today. Thank you for that, and for all of your readers who came over to leave a comment. That means so much to me.

My mother-in-law was too young to die. I think 65 is still very young. I myself plan on living well into my 90's!! Although tomorrow is never guaranteed, we all need to do our best to live a healthy lifestyle and take good care of our bodies through diet and exercise. I know that is somewhat of cliche, but it's very true! By keeping ourselves healthy we are not only doing ourselves a blessing, but we are blessing those who love us by doing everything we can to have more time on this earth with them. We have all begged and pleaded with my mother-in-law for over 20 years to do something to lose her weight (she died at 334 pounds) but she wasn't strong enough to change her eating habits. Eventually, her heart gave out. We are all shocked at her passing, but not surprised. So sad. We will miss her terribly. I really believe that had she been a more reasonable weight for her body frame, her heart would not have had to work so hard, and she would have lived well into her 80's, just as her mother did.

I'm moving forward, trying to remember all the fun times (there were so many of them!) and trying not to focus on the "should have's" that will amount to all the regrets for things not said or done. My mom always says that when we are at our lowest, the enemy plants these thoughts into our minds to bring us further into despair.

Thank you again for your support as well as all your wonderful readers. I feel blessed to be part of this blogging world :)

Belle said...

Holidays are especially hard when you lose someone. It is the time of the year you usually spend days with that person. It seems like there is an empty chair in the room. In my family we have missed my grandson Craig so much this Thanksgiving. He loved family celebrations and the big dinner. Turkey was a favorite, so we used to cook it for him on his birthday! We will miss him so much this Christmas. Our first one without his smiling face.

I went over and read your friend's blog and felt so sorry for her. As for me with Craig, I have no regrets. We were close, he lived in the same city as me so we saw each other frequently. I am forever grateful for that. I am determined to be cheerful for Christmas for the rest of my grandchildren. I know I will see our precious boy again in heaven, and that gives me peace.

Steadfast Ahoy! said...

No wonder you are SouthHampton's Darling...everybody loves you! What a tender-sweet post.

It's a cold, miserable, raining buckets day here in Southern Ontario. Your post is the icing on the cake. boo hoo. Thank you for your kind words to me about all the chaos in our home right now. Yes, one never knows, but then, we'd probably be too despairing to even get out of bed in the mornings if we did know.

Keep calm and carry on, DearHeart.

Thisisme. said...

Desiree - I think most of us were a bit emotional today, but sometimes it doesn't hurt to feel like that. As you say, there is so much love here today, and so much that we receive all the time with our bloggy friends. As you say, it seems amazing to me that just over a year ago, we didn't know that all this existed. People who don't blog, find it difficult to understand, but I think the support and encouragement that we receive here is a wonderful thing. Thank YOU for your friendship, and the smiles I get from some of your comments - especially over at you-know-who's blog!! Hee Hee! Big hug x

Katrina - thank you so much for coming over to visit me today and leaving such a long comment. My bloggy friends are just the best, and I knew that a lot of them would come over to see you. Such a shame that your poor mother-in-law couldn't change her eating habits, but it can be hard. Of course she will be missed so much, but she will live on in you, as you continue to talk about her and remember all the happy times you spent with her. As you say, 65 seems very young indeed these days, and I hope that I will live for another 20 years at least! I certainly do try to keep myself healthy, which is so important. I think we are all blessed with our bloggy friends. Thank you so much again for coming over to see me. Take care.

Belle - I was thinking of you and all the family at Thanksgiving, and of the huge gap with Craig not being there. All these 'firsts' are so hard, aren't they? Now you have Christmas to get through, but I agree, you all have to try to keep cheerful for the sake of all the other grandchildren. And Craig certainly wouldn't want to see you all sitting around moping. Love & blessings to you dear friend Belle.

Thisisme. said...

Steadfast Ahoy - hallo Rosemary. You came over to read the post then! Lovely to see you. I always think that it's a good thing that we don't know just what's around the corner. As you say, we would never get out of bed in the mornings! Take care. Onwards & upwards! Hugs to you.

Raindrops and Daisies said...

I agree life is far too short and we absolutely should make the most of it and of each other

Take care my friend.

Fiona x

EmptyNester said...

And I am sending hugs right back to you! I remember when all of my grandparents passed and I remember all those little regrets and the fact that they wouldn't see the lovelies grow of them was around for a while at least.

I'll head over there and read the post. Let me just find my box of tissue...

romance-of-roses said...

Hello Diane, I am so very sorry about your friend. My husband had a stroke on Thanksgiving a few years ago, it's always with us on Thanksgiving Day. My neighbor lost her husband two weeks before Christmas and her son two weeks after Christmas. That's how things happen. I send you a big hug. Lu said...

65 is so young! I learned very early on not to take a single day for granted. hugs back to you and to your friend too.

BECKY said...

Oh, Diane. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's loss, too. I'd only be repeating what others have already said, so I'll just say I'm SO grateful and happy for all my family, friends, and bloggy friends, such as you. You are such a sweet and funny gal and I'd truly love to meet you in person someday! Big hugs to you!

orchid said...

Oh, Dearest Diane.
I am sorry to hear the sad news of your friend for her loss.
And SO MOVED for every warm word from your friends to her.
Reading comments here sounded to me sparkling more than precious jewels☆☆☆
Blessing to you, xoxo Miyako*

Thisisme. said...

Raindrops and Daisies - Hi Fiona. Lovely to see you, and I couldn't agree with you more my friend. Hope all is well with you.

EmptyNester - Hi Pam! Yes, I think you will need that box of tissues! My eldest granddaughter was only six months old when my own dad passed away, and my mum never knew Eli & Ruby, but I like to think that they are both looking down. I'm sure they are.

romance-of-roses - Hallo Lu. So lovey to see you hear today. Thank you for popping over to leave your comment. That must have been terrible for you both when your husband had his stroke on Thanksgiving, and your poor neighbour, losing both her husband AND her son around Christmas time. Terrible! Take care.

bridgetstraub - hallo! I don't think I've seen you here before. Thank you so much for popping across to leave a comment. I totally agree, that 65 seems young these days (they say that 60 is the new 40!). I hope to be around for a long time yet! Lovely to meet you.

Becky - like you, I am so grateful for my family, my friends and all my bloggy friends. I've often thought how wonderful it would be if we could all meet up. I can imagine that there would be a lot of laughter!!

Orchid - dear Miyako, I love your comment "words worth more than sparkling jewels!". You are so right though. There are some truly wonderful comments here today. and I truly appreciate every one of them. Warmest wishes to you my dear friend.

Sush said...

Christmas is coming the goose is getting fat! Yay! I love the holidays. Unlike Des and Tom, I grew up in the land of dreamy dreams and tropical heatwaves. Many a Christmas we retired our sweaters for cotton blouses as it was too warm for the fuzzies! I can enjoy the Christmas season in warm weather or cold and still feel very festive! In fact I wouldn't mind a warm Christmas this year, seems to help keep the aches and pains at bay!

Now I just need to get the cornucopia off the mantel, the Thanksgiving garland and wreaths down so I can join you in decorating for Christmas!
Hugs and Ho Ho Ho!

Thisisme. said...

Sush - Hi there. Christmas is coming indeed, and the goose is getting fat. Please put a penny in the old man's hat! I am getting excited already. Hee Hee! I hope you will post some photos of your Christmas decorations. Hugs to you and I hope that you and hubby are keeping well at the moment.