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Monday 1 November 2010

Reflections

Dear Blog, Yesterday we were talking about candles.  Well, I just love having scented candles around the house, especially when it's dark and dismal outside.
I had worked in Admin all my working life (bear with me here - we WILL get back to the scented candles!), then, just as I was approaching 50, I decided to have a complete change and embarked on an Anatomy, Physiology and Massage Course to qualify as a Masseuse.  (Mind you, I also decided to have two tattoos  at that time as well, which is another story altogether - must have been a mid-life crisis!).  It was very hard, participating in the Course,  especially as I hadn't done any real studying for almost 35 years.
In the lead up to the Examination, I was also visiting my dear mum every day, who was now in a Nursing Home following a series of strokes.  Mum passed away just a few weeks before I was due to take the Exam.
My mum and dad were married for 15 years before I came along and, as you can imagine, my childhood was filled with love.  I was an only child, so when I lost my mum, it was a real blow.  The only saving grace was that she was suffering so much at the end, that it was almost a blessed relief that she was now at peace.  However, that certainly didn't take away the sense of dreadful loss.  Fortunately, I was with her as she passed away, and it was very peaceful at the end.  The Nursing Home had a lovely walled garden and I remember that, after sitting with mum for some thirty minutes, I walked out into the garden and, all of a sudden, I just couldn't breathe.  It was quite frightening.  I know now that I was having an asthma attack, something that I had never had before - the shock of losing mum I suppose.   Although she has been gone now for 14 years,   I still miss her every day - even now, if I suddenly see a little, old lady with white hair, looking very smart and wearing jewellery, it always knocks me back because it reminds me so much of mum.  That was how she always looked.  Even in the Nursing Home, she wore nice dresses and the Carers would put on her rings, necklace and ear-rings.

Mum

My mind, therefore, was pretty addled when I went to take the Exam.  Mum knew that I had been studying, and I knew that she would have wanted me to do well.  Anyway, somewhat to my amazement, I passed and obtained the necessary Qualification to practice.  I had a nice little room set up at home  and, about an hour before my client was due to arrive, I would put on a relaxing C.D. and light the scented candles (you see, I told you we would get back to them eventually!) so that it was really welcoming for them.  I loved doing the massage and made several good friends from it.  In fact, the whole thing was just as relaxing for me as it was for the client.
Well dear Blog, we certainly seem to have rambled on a bit today.  Hope people haven't been TOO bored!

14 comments:

SkippyMom said...

Your Mom is beyond lovely. What a smile and you can just see she was quite the classy lady. I am glad you were with her. I missed seeing my Mom by 3 weeks [she lived 400 miles away - Pooldad works - I don't travel well] but I know she past away in Sept. happy at the thought that we would be there in a few weeks. Gosh I miss her.

Thanks for sharing your Mom with us.

BB said...

This...what a great story. And mom sounded like a wonderful lady. Reminds me of my grandma. Always happy. Coincidentally I had a day spa in Connecticut. Loved giving facials and pedicures. Was therapeutic for me. I too had candles and soft music. And then we invaded Iraq and the economy tanked. Bye bye spa. We have much in common This!!!

LindyLouMac said...

No not bored at all, I feel that I am getting to know a new friend. Thanks for introducing us to your Mum as well.

Southhamsdarling said...

Skippy - Hi there. I'm sorry you missed seeing your mum, but, as you say, she was happy knowing that you would be there in a few weeks. I presume you mean that she passed away THIS September. It's very early days for you then. Sending you a big hug.

Southhamsdarling said...

Bouncin'Barb - thank you for your comments. Yes, mum never moaned, even when she was in pain a lot of the time. Fancy you giving facials and pedicures - small world, eh? I agree, giving these treatments was very therapeutic to us as well. I loved it! So sorry to hear that you lost the Spa = you must have been pretty dismayed I would think. What a lovely crowd of ladies these bloggers are!

Southhamsdarling said...

Hope you enjoyed your Bank Holiday over there in Italy, LindyLou! It is like making new friends, isn't it?! Wonderful.

PaulaMJ said...

This is a lovely photo of your mum, and what a great story xxx

Southhamsdarling said...

Thank you Paula - lovely of you to stop by from Houston xx

Gawgus things... said...

Your posts keep making me cry - in a nice way ;) ! x

Southhamsdarling said...

Sorry Gawgus things.... no more sad ones! xx

Becky said...

Your mother was a beautiful lady! I am glad that you had such a wonderful relationship with her. ~ You and I have many things in common. My parents waited 10 years after they were married, to have me. And like you... I am an only child. Also... my mother lives in a nursing home now, due to a stroke that she had on November 8, 2005. She is 78 yrs old. ((HUGS))

Olive said...

I love it that your mum wore jewelry and kept herself looking so pretty. I know you miss her. It was wonderful you passed the exam and enjoyed your new vocation. I like massages but the cost is just too much. ♥O

Southhamsdarling said...

Hallo Olive - yes, I think it is so easy to let yourself go, as the saying goes, and I admired mum for that. As you say, massages do cost so much. When I was doing them from home, I wsas only charging £12, whereas if you went to a Salon, they were charging £25!

Southhamsdarling said...

Hi Becky. It is funny how we seem to have these things in common, isn't it?! Your mum must have had her stroke when she was fairly young in her early seventies. (I consider that to be quite young these days!). I think, when you're an only child, it can be such a worry. Is your mum fairly close by? On a different note, I will be posting a photo of Alfred tomorrow!